When there are lots of women and men out there who are dying to find a girlfriend, I can sit quietly here without being bothered by those who want to have a boyfriend. Obviously this invites questions from people around me, such as “Are you not interested in having a boyfriend?” Until annoying questions like “You don’t sell, huh?”
I am a little intrigued with questions like that, because they seem to make dating as an achievement of life achievement. If it is not achieved it will be considered as a shameful thing and is considered unsold. I don’t have a boyfriend yet because I haven’t met a suitable person; someone I can invite to commit and have a serious relationship. Not because it is not interested especially not sold.
Then the next question arises: “Why should dating have to be committed and serious? That’s only for married people. “
In the 20 years that I lived, I had never felt a relationship. Previously the reason may have been because I was not attractive in the eyes of the adam in school. At that time I felt ashamed and isolated when asked by another friend whose flight hours were high. However, when I was able to think independently, it felt like this was a beneficial thing. Why? Because I have never felt a broken heart and do not have a collection of ex-lovers.
At the age of 2 who have entered the head 2, I no longer need to have a boyfriend if the reason is only because I do not want to be labeled as jomlo ngenes, not selling, or the like. I realize that dating is not an achievement, but a process of recognition and understanding of our partners. A successful dating process will bring us to the next level, namely marriage. Many people choose to date without thinking in the direction of marriage, so that their relationship does not last long. Couples who do not think in the direction of marriage, will not commit to each other and think with the principle of “live first.” It’s up to fate will bring the relationship where. So when the relationship is hit by a storm of problems, breaking up becomes the easiest and fastest solution. As a result a lot of time is wasted, a lot of tears are shed, a lot of feelings and material are sacrificed, for something that cannot be carried to a higher level.
Therefore, courtship is a process that remains to be taken seriously and committed. Daring to date means that you have the courage to have an advanced romance goal, namely marriage. The dating period is a time to see if our spouse is the right person to be a life companion until we age and die later, or just just friends hahahehe doang. Don’t date just so someone cares and cares about you, asks how you are 24 hours a day, or so someone can be invited to a friend’s wedding reception or to family events. If the reason for dating is only for those things, I can guarantee that you are only lonely and not ready to date. No need to wait for your partner to get attention and affection, you can get it from your family and friends.
Dating serious and committed doesn’t mean you can’t do fun things with your partner. Of course couples can still do romantic and fun things together. The difference between serious dating and non-serious dating is in taking an attitude and response when the couple faces problems in a relationship. Couples who are serious and committed will solve the problem in an adult, open, and compromise with each other, so there is a solution to their problem. Conversely couples who are not serious dating usually the relationship will be full of drama and strife, which leads to the end of the relationship.
According to Dr. Gottman, a researcher, psychologist, writer, public speaker, and therapist who examines the predictions of divorce and marital stability, a committed relationship is definitely closely related to trust. When two people agree to commit to their relationship, they will have trust in each other, so the relationship will not be easily swayed by external factors that are not too important. With trust, relationships will be more long-lasting than relationships that are filled with suspicion. Trust is not only related to external factors, but also internal factors between the two people in a relationship. For example: if one party experiences a problem, he has the confidence that his partner can be relied on to help him.
Some points that having trust will make the relationship last longer, according to Kyle Benson:
Relationships with partners become safer. There is no worry, jealousy or uneasy.
Relationships become a process that changes yourself into a better and more mature person.
Relationships will strengthen you and your partner because of a sense of belonging as a team.
You will be more willing to take risks because you believe that your partner can be relied upon if something happens.
Solving the problem together becomes a time to get closer and get to know your partner personally, not a moment that keeps you from your partner.
You will have a relationship that is full of gratitude for each other, rather than a relationship that is full of desire to fix a partner’s shortcomings.
With the many benefits that can be achieved through a serious and committed relationship, why do you still want a relationship that is not clearly directed and does not make you grow? In my eyes, it’s better to enjoy quality solitude, rather than being in a relationship, but it doesn’t lead me to self-improvement.